Coaching is 4 U

Reviewing Your Career Progress

2011-03-29T09:44:00.000-07:00

For many working people, this is the time of year they get their annual review. If you receive an annual review, it is a great time to look at your career development. If your company provides input into your developmental needs start with them. Ask your supervisor to provide you a list of areas they want you to improve in. When your supervisor starts covering these areas, ask him/her to provide you with as much input as they can. Tell them you have a strong desire to improve and move up in your career. Ask them if they can recommend someone who could act as a mentor for you. Mentors should be someone who can help hold you accountable to make the improvements you need to make.

Change takes time and effort! Put together an action plan and review it with your supervisor. This will help show the supervisor that you are serious about taking the actions needed to improve yourself. These actions should be done, regardless of whether you will receive a promotion or not. In today's world, just keeping your job could depend on your willingness to improve and add value to your organization and company.

Your next step should include a trip to the book store or library. Review books that cover the areas you need to develop. Read books and take action steps to implement the suggested changes. Google search the topics you need to develop and look for on-line training and suggestions. Find a career coach who can also help you in these areas.

If you are fortunate enough to secure a mentor or a career coach, meet with them monthly. Discuss your developmental needs and how they would suggest you address them. If you do not have a mentor or career coach, put a 2 hour meeting on your calendar each month. During that time, pull out your review and any recommendations your supervisor made and evaluate your own progress. Set up quarterly meetings with your supervisor to review your progress and to get additional recommendations. Taking your supervisor on as a "informal mentor" will help them to see that your efforts to improve are serious. Most people like to help others and their efforts should not only be followed but you should thank them for them.

Too many people I have worked with never look at their review and recommendations until a few weeks before their next review. They spend most of the time prior to their next review "kicking themselves" for not working on the items their supervisor identified. They even express shock when you discover that their supervisor gives them a poor review. Not working to improve may result your losing your job.

Take responsibility for your development, whether it is at work or your personal life. Change will not "magically" happen. It requires hard work and someone to hold us accountable for making the change.

Everyday Life is About Choices

2011-03-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

One of my recent postings talked about how our thoughts impact our lives. Another things that has a big impact on who we are and how we react to things is our attitude. Some people claim that what happens to them impacts how they respond to things. I hear, "They made me angry" or "It wasn't my fault. They made me do it". I agree that events can influence our reactions, but they do not control our responses. Someone once said that events no more control our actions any more than a mirror controls our appearance.

Consider this - "Attitude is everything with aging...A study of nearly one thousand older adults followed for nine years concluded that people with high levels of optimism has a 23% lower risk of death from cardiovascular disease and a 55% lower risk of death from all causes compared to their pessimistic peers" - Dr. Andrew Weils. I have heard of many studies that show that optimistic people at all ages have less medical problems. Having a positive attitude is good for your health. Put another way, a bad attitude can kill you.

It is important that people understand just how beneficial a good positive attitude is. Not only will it help your health improve it is critically important in relationships and at work. Who would you like to be married to or work with? Someone who has a bad attitude all the time or someone who has a good attitude?

The great thing about our attitude is that we have a choice. Consider these words by Charles Swindoll -

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

So how will you choose to live?

"Do, or do not. There is no try", Joda

2011-03-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at how many people seem to have just given up. Our entire country has seemed to have lost the will to persevere and accomplish great things. People no longer seem to believe that great things are possible. People are living life as a spectator sport. They simply put in their time, counting their days. People have taken on the attitude that when the going gets tough, quit. Are you one of those people?

John F. Kennedy once quoted George Bernard Shaw saying, "Some men see things as they are and say why - I dream things that never were and say why not."

As a coach I encourage people to pursue their dreams and reach their goals. I try to encourage people to be all that they can be. I help people develop a confidence "Can Do" attitude allowing them to achieve much more than they ever thought possible. Pursuing our goals is not easy and will require perseverance and very hard work. Reaching our goals is a journey that will take time. We will have set backs, but we can reach those things others only dream about. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -- Confucius

One of my favorite quotes is from Theodor Roosevelt in his 1910, "Man in the arena speech". In it he said:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Become one of those few and special people willing to reach for their "impossible dream". Take that first step. Stop living your life from the sidelines and get into the arena. Find and pursue your passion. Be one of those people who, when they look back on their lives can say they lived life to it's fullest. Someone who didn't give up who strives again and again. Your life, your family, your employer, and your world will be better for it..

"Stinkin' Thinkin'"

2011-03-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

There are many bad things happening in the world. We all know people who have financial difficulties, we worry about the rising costs of things we buy, and many of us worry about our employment situation. The world seems to have become a very scary place. But there are many good things happening. An old song tells us to "Count our blessings". Most of us are very blessed. We have the highest standard of living in the world. A website called the Global Rich List (www.globalrichlist.com) allows you to key in your income and it will tell you how your income measures against the income of the rest of the world. It says that if you make $30,000 per year you are among the top 7.16% of the richest people in the world. It is important to put things in proper perspective. You may not "feel" rich and you may not be able to buy everything you want, but you have it much better than 93% of the worlds population. Count your blessing!

Do you like being around or working with people who are negative or positive? Which type of person are you? Are you putting things into proper perspective or are you looking at everything in a negative way? Your attitude, positive or negative, shows though. It shows though at work, with your kids, in your marriage, and in all your relationships.

What type of person are you? Do people enjoy your company or do they avoid you? Do you see the glass as half full, half empty, or are you someone who believes that no mater how full the glass is, it is never full enough. You attitude matters. It drives your thought process. A Proverb states, "For as he thinks in his heart, so he is". The way you think will drive everything you do in life.

IF things are not going well at work or in your relationships, you may need to change your attitude. This will require changing how you think. Norman Vincent Peale wort a book, "The Power of Positive Thinking". The book talks bout how taking control of your thoughts and turning them positive will help you improve your life.
As I work with individuals and couples, I work with them to break their cycle of negative thinking. I refer to this negative thinking pattern as "Stinkin Thinkin". "Stinkin Thinkin" is looking for all the negative reasons something has gone wrong. Often a person places blame on others or even oneself. It can go like this, "What I said was so stupid", "I am a failure", "They did that to hurt me and they did it on purpose", "They want to make me mad", "My spouse is always critical of me", or "I can never do any better". As the Proverb says, if you think these things, you will become these things. It is a self fulfilling prophesy. But it doesn't have to be this way! With help you can change! Each of us make hundreds of choices, everyday, we can choose to be more positive.

Maybe you need help changing your attitude. Coaching is about helping people change. It is about helping people improve areas in their lives that can make them better. Are you ready for a change? Can We help you? If your answer is yes, please contact us.

The Truth

2011-02-24T10:01:00.000-08:00

Unlike many people, I read. Usually, I do not read books for enjoyment but I read to learn so I usually read non-fiction. There are literally millions of good books, but because I am a slow reader, I devote my time to reading books on topics that interest me and that will increase my knowledge. I have read many of the "classics" and enjoyed reading CS Lewis' - Chronicles of Narnia, Tolkien - Lord of the Ring, and several of Michener's books including Hawaii and the Source.

In 1972, while attending college I took a class on short stories. I did not take this class because I liked short stories, but because I had to get an English credit. The write up for the class seemed easier than other options so I took the class. During the class we discussed a short story titled, "Circus in the Attic". The main character of the story seemed to hold many beliefs which most of us could see were based on fact or truth. The Professor said something about this person that I have remembered and used many times since.

"People believe truth they have to believe to go on being the way they are."

What he meant by this statement was that people will pick and choose small bits and pieces of things to try to justify the way they live. Put another way, my wife Ruth says, "The head can justify anything the heart desires" or as the Bible says, As a man believes in his heart, so he is (Proverbs 23:7 KJV). Most of us have no trouble finding ways to justify our behavior. Many of us are comfortable justifying our behavior than changing it.

People get so caught up in this type of thinking that when they are challenged to change they say, "I can't change". Change involves making a decision to take a different road or course of action. Since all of us can are forced to make millions of decisions each day (what to eat, where to go, etc.), when someone says I can't change what they are really saying is I won't change. It is really a choice. They can choose to change or choose to not change. But either way they are making a choice.

Coaching helps people identify what factors they perceive are keeping them from changing. Helping people realize they can change is the first step in the process of making change. Change can be hard. But everyone can change, if they choose to.

Have you arrived at a place that you need to make a change?

Making People Change

2011-02-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

I have been asked, "As a coach, how can you make people change?"

As I said in my last article people resist change. Most may not admit it, but they truly fear change. People may not like what is happening in their life now, but at least they know what to expect. They fear that if they change, they can not be certain what will happen. There is a fear of the unknown. If they change, things might get better, but maybe they will get worse.

A good example of this is someone who has an addiction. Let's look at someone with a gambling addiction. Most of these people try to lead normal lives but the thrill they get gambling can consumes every aspect their lives. The addict believe that the next bet will be the one that is the big winner. They convince themselves that once they hit it big, they can take their winnings and quit. But no mater how much they win, they can't quit because it is not about the money it is about the thrill of placing the bet. I had a relative share this story. They told me that a person they know won $500,000 at a local casino and that it ruined their life. When they won the money they convinced themselves that it they invested so of their winning, they could win even more. What happened? Not only did this person loos the entire $500,000 but they also go so addicted they lost their house and all their savings. They are worse off now than before they won.

So how do make someone change? The fact is there is nothing anyone can do to MAKE someone else change. Nothing. The only person you can change is yourself. Unless a person has arrived at a place that they are willing to change, they won't. Even when people reach a point of knowing and accepting that they must change, that change will be very hard. The thrill of gambling is always in the mind of the addict, it never leaves.

My role as a coach is to help individuals get to the point that they can see and accept they need to change. I help them put together a road map of measurable goals and steps to help them make the change they have identified. It is the responsibility of the person I am coaching to follow their road map. I can only be there to help praise and hold them accountable to follow their plans.

Everyone of of us is imperfect and we all have areas in our lives that need change. Maybe we need to make changes to improve our relationships, career, or in some other area of our life, but all of us need to change. You may have reached the point that you know change is needed, but are uncertain how to proceed. As a coach, I can help you. Know that there is no "one size fits all". Each persons road map is different and customized.

You must not fear change, but rather embrace it. In life, we are either moving forward or backward, we do not stay stationary. Change will happen, there is no stopping it.

If you are at a point that you have identified that you are in a place they need to make change and are willing to work on changing, you are ready to start working with a coach. Are you ready for change?

Change Happens - Faster and Faster Each Day!

2011-02-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

Coaching is about helping people and organizations manage change. Even the most successful person or organization cannot rest on their laurels. They must continue to remake themselves or risk falling behind.

Most organization and people resist change. People take the position, "Why change, when things are going well now?" The answer is very simple, if you do not change and keep reinventing your self you will be overtaken and fall behind. You and your skills make be deemed old and not reliant to the needs of our ever changing environment. For years, blacksmiths were one of the best and most profitable occupations, but when the automobile came on the scene. The car quickly replaced the horse as the chief mode of transportation. Blacksmiths either changed and learned a new skill or they became unemployed.

In his book, "In Search of Excellence" Tom Peters identified companies that were moving forward. Embarrassing change, using cutting edge technologies and new processes. He found 8 basic principles that made companies thrive and succeed. He singled out GE as one of those successful companies. Interestingly, several years later Peters used GE again , but not as an example of a successful company, rather as an example of a poorly run company. For years GE did many things right, when Peters wrote "In Search of Excellence", but leadership began resting on it's past successes and was overtaken by it's competitors.

If a company or individual is to survive in today's world, they must keep advancing, looking at trends, new technology, and new ideas. Compare both Sears and Wards, once the largest retailers in the world. Compare them to Target and Walmart. Wards and Sears failed to use their enormous advantage to stay on top, failing to identify changing shopping trends. Both Target and Walmart saw the new trends and grew because they were willing to try something new. If nothing else, Target and Walmart prove that the "little upstart" can take on and overcome any complacent giant.

The same is true for everyone in the workplace. I emphasize that people's careers are either moving forward or falling backward. There is no standing still. Every employee, no mater what level of employment, needs to embrace and purse new technologies and new trend. Not staying current or keeping up new trends, technology or ideas will soon put you at a huge disadvantage. Companies have short memories and usually are more concerned about what you are doing today and can do for me tomorrow than what you have done for me in the past. With corporate downsizing and pressure to improve performance and productivity a failure to embrace change, where ever it comes from can be a mistake that may cost you your job.

As a coach I work with clients and companies to examine all their options and challenge them to embrace change and technology. What areas should you be learning? Six-sigma, new phone and communication technologies (virtual meetings). Staying educated and knowing how to use new skills will make you valuable in whatever role you fill.

Do you go over, around or through the mountains?

2010-12-15T13:48:00.000-08:00

The business world often refers to problems or trails as "opportunities". These opportunities come in all shapes and sizes, some small and easy to deal with and others so large they seem to be impossible to deal with. When I work with clients on "opportunities" I use a word picture. I tell them to think of opportunities as mountains. Each mountain offers unique problems that must be conquered. I tell them that some people come up to their mountain and scream at it, they kick it, or simply sit down and cry because it seems so overwhelming.

As a life coach, it is my job to help clients realize that every mountain can be conquered. The trick is determining how to conquer this mountain. I suggest that they can go over it, around it or through it. Each choice requires a different approach and a different set of "tools". If you go around the mountain you may encounter rivers or deep valleys that will need to be crossed. If you go over the mountain, you may encounter snow and bitter cold as well as hazardous climbing conditions. If you go through the mountain you may encounter cave-ins and very hard rock to dig through. Each choice has it's own plus's and minus's.

The client must investigate and try to anticipate all the various circumstances they may encounter with each of their possible choices. They then need to select the approach that best suits them and their skill set. They need to gather the needed resources and set out on their journey.

I have the responsibility to tell the client that, once they conquer this mountain (opportunity) they will see others in their path. I have heard it said this way, people are always in one of three stages in their lives, they are entering into a opportunity, they are in the midst of a opportunity, or they are coming out of an opportunity. Each time you conquer a opportunity you learn a valuable lesson about yourself and the opportunity you conquered. Some say "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger". People "grow" through these opportunities and it helps them as they face their new opportunities.

Life coaching is about helping people get through their current opportunities, gain the confidence that comes with conquering them, and them help them get ready for the next.

Are you sitting in front of your mountain hoping it will go away or are you ready to get up and conquer it?

Salting the oats

2010-11-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

I love the Indiana Jones movies, especially the one called the "Last Crusade". In that movie Indiana is faced with three "trials" he must overcome to get to the "prize". His fathers life depends on him reaching the prize. Each of the trials is described using clues. To safely reach the prize he must quickly determine the meaning of each clue and take the correct action. Failure to do so would mean certain doom. The writers of the movie present unexpected surprises in the movie. One of my favorite surprises is when Indiana is faced with the third trial, since he got to the third trial you can assume he passed the first two. This trial presents a situation that looks impossible. Indiana must cross a seemingly endlessly deep valley without a rope or bridge. He can not jump over the valley because it is too far to the other side. His clue for this trial tell him he must simply "walk on air" over the valley to a cave on the other side. At this point Indiana takes a "step of faith" and to his surprise he does not fall. At this point in the movie we, like Indiana, have only seen the valley by looking down at it. Now the movie makers switch the view to a side view and we now can see why Indiana did not fall. This view reveals that a camouflaged rock bridge, that blends in perfectly with the other side of the valley, exists. The solution was always there but Indiana could not see it. Only when he stepped out in faith wa he able to find the answer. To see how this movie turned out you will need to rent it, sorry.

I wanted to use this movie scene as an illustration. Most people facing challenges that seem impossible to overcome can not see the solution so they loose hope. Since they can't see the "bridge" to the other side they think that they are doomed to stay where they are.

As a coach, it is my job to help people look at their challenges from a different angle. I try to show them that a "bridge" exists. Often the people still do not see the "bridge" and so they resist stepping forward. They have reached a cross road. If they won't step out in faith, they will not move forward to overcome their challenge. Conquering this trial may be simply the first of several trials they will face to overcome their challenge. Without conquering this trial they can not move forward to the next.

As a coach I find it very rewarding when people conquer their trials and move forward. But not everyone I work with will take the leap. I have learned that "you can lead a horse to water but can not make it drink". The person whom I am coaching must take the step, I can not force them or even do it for them. But I can encourage them by "salting the oats".

Expert gardening requires pruning

2010-11-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

Making change in our lives is a little like gardening. Gardeners know that pruning, cutting away branches and buds, is one of the most important things a person can do to produce beautiful and mature roses. Without pruning, the rose bush fails to thrive and the roses never reach their full beauty and potential. Pruning is important for three reasons. First, a plant can produce more buds that it can sustain. Pruning insures that the remaining buds get all the nutrients they need. The remaining buds will grow larger, healthier, and more beautiful. Second, the plant has dead and sick branches. Pruning these will keep the plant from falling into decay. The sick branches starve the plant and may cause it to not produce flowers. Third, pruning to shape the plant. Pruning keeps the plant from becoming "over-grown". Keeping it within it's boundaries.

If we want the best in in our lives, we will need to do a little pruning from time to time. Pruning can be very hard and even quite painful, but without pruning we will never become the person we want to be. Pruning needs to be done in all aspects of our lives. How do the three reasons for pruning play out in our lives?

First, most of us have too many thing going on in our lives. Many of these things can be really good things, but because we have so many we can not put forth the effort needed for any to really mature and reach it's potential. The really important things in our lives never grow because they do not have the attention and effort they need. Do you want a lot of little immature flowers or a smaller number of massive and beautiful flowers?

Second, we need to look at the things in our lives that cause us to be sick. Things that are hurting or holding us back. Things that we know are bad, but we do them anyway. Maybe it is a bad habit or the way we treat other people. Without these bad things drawing our time and energy we could excel and be more successful. What bad things are you doing that are holding you back?

Third, we need to shape ourselves around the goals and a life that is more fulfilling. We need to continue to ask ourselves if what we are doing is moving us forward into the type of person we want to be or moving us backward. We are never standing still, if we are not moving forward we are moving backward. We need to prune out the stuff that detracts from being the best employee, spouse, parent, or friend we can be. Do you have things in your life that need to removed to keep you on track?

Life coaching is about helping you identify and pruning those areas in your life that need change. Are you happy with where you are and where your life is going or are you just existing from day to day wondering where you are going? If you need change, why not contact us to see how we might help?

Who are you?

2010-11-18T12:08:00.000-08:00

When I ask people to give me a list of their top priorities, I often get the sense that they are telling me what they want me to hear and not what they actually believe. Understanding our REAL priorities are important to each of us. Not just the ones we share with others, but our real priorities. They are the ones that shape us into who we are. I often tell people that who you are, how you act, and what you do when you are alone and think no one is watching, is who you really are.

Some people have good priorities. The problem is not the priorities but how they define their priorities. They define their priorities in a way that they don't hold themselves accountable to them. People tell me they value honesty, for example, but when pressed on the issue what they really believe is that other people should be honest with them, but that they don't have to be honest. There is nothing wrong with expecting people to be honest with you, but how can you expect others to be honest with you if you are not honest with them? The "Golden Rule" does not say "he who has the gold makes the rules" it actually says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

So who are you? Are you trying to live two lives? Are you a person trying to live one way when you are around people at work or in a socially setting and another when you are alone? Do you expect others to treat you differently that you treat the?

Maybe it is time for you to "get real" to start to "walk the walk" and "talk the talk"?

Life coaching is about helping you with setting worthwhile priorities. It will help you put them into practice and will hold you accountable. You don't have to live as you have always lived, you don't have to believe what you have always believed and you don't have to act as you have always acted.

Climbing the ladder of "success"

2010-11-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

"Climbing the ladder of success" is an often used metaphor to describe someone moving up in their career. There are three ways one can climb the ladder:

The first method is climbing by yourself. Theses climbers decide what skills they need and are willing to "do what it takes" to move up the rungs of the ladder. Often these people will climb over or even "use" other people to get to that next rung. If they have to walk over a few people, so be it. Only the strong survive. These types of people are often self centered and their mantra is "It is all about ME". Their spouse, family, morals, and personal life is secondary to their primary goal, climbing the ladder and trying to reach the top.

The second method is to "suck-up" to everyone higher on the ladder than you are. These climbers become "yes people" willing to do any and every thing their boss tells them to do. They support their boss, even if they know their boss is lying and dishonest. Their mantra is still "It is all about me" but also "my boss will bring me to the top with him".

The third method people use to climb the ladder is integrity. These people use honesty and integrity to build trust and relationships. People using this method are not self-serving and believe that the best way to get ahead is being honest, working hard, learning new skills, and helping fellow co-workers with no expectation that they will receive anything for their help. People using this method are often picked on and "made fun of" by people using methods one or two. Method one and two people feel threatened by people with any moral values. They see them as weak and that they will never achieve success.

The expression, "what goes around comes around" usually occurs to people who use method one or two. When the chips are down people will not come to the aid of people who use method one or two. People do not like these types of people, especially people who use the same climbing methods. People may not actually push these people off the cliff, but they are certainly not going to point out that a cliff is ahead.

Before you try to be "successful" it would be best for you to define what success means to you. Is it about position, money or fame? I tell people that, "if you are above average in intelligence, willing to put in the time and "do what it takes", you can reach any level of success, even that of a CEO or even the President of the United States." The question you have to answer is, "What "price" am I willing to pay?" Are you willing to see your marriage and relationships with your kids crumble? Are you willing to work 80 to 100 hours each week? Are you willing to make this the number one thing in your life? Or is success really about striving to maximize your skills and letting your skills and integrity take you where they will. You may never be a CEO but is being a CEO really worth the cost?

Life coaching helps you establish a "true north" for your life and career. It is designed to help you map out a better way to reach your goals.

For all of you climbing the corporate ladder; make sure the ladder is leaning up against the right structure. Too often people don't realize the consequences and costs of their climb until it has cost them much more than they ever planned to give.

Act Like an Ant

2010-11-11T12:10:00.000-08:00

In his book "9 Things You Simply Must Do", a book I highly recommend you read, Dr. Henry Cloud gives us 9 principles we all need to follow. One of these he calls "Act Like an Ant".

When we look at something we want to do or change in our life, we can become overwhelmed. The task looks so large and so daunting we can easy become discourage and give up. We can see where we are and where we want to be but have no idea on how to get there. We may tell ourselves, "someday I will", but time moves on, runs out, and the change or dream is never fulfilled. Too many people settle for what they have and not what they could have simply because wanting it all and wanting it now, keeps them from having any.

Cloud refers to a quote by Isak Dinesen, "When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, everyday a little, suddenly the work will finish itself". This is the same process an ant uses. Ants are amazing little creatures. Have you ever watched them or thought about them? They have no commander, no overseer or ruler telling them what to do. Each of them somehow seems to know what needs to be done and then they do it. Working together they build massive cities. This act is accomplished one ant with one pebble, one step at a time, one grain of sand at a time. It takes time, but they do accomplish their goals.

Cloud uses the example of John Grisham to prove his point. Grisham is one of the biggest selling authors of modern time. While working more than full time as an attorney, he had the dream of writing a novel. Many people in Grisham's circumstance would have let their dream die, but Grisham went the way of the ant. He got up a little earlier each morning and wrote just a little bit each day. Slowly, one page at a time over a three year period he completed his first book, "A Time To Kill". The longest journey starts with the first step and them continuing, one step at a time.

Life Coaching is about helping people find ways to break a big task down into smaller pieces. Think of it like this, how do you swallow and elephant? One small bite at a time. A life coach can help you reach your dreams and goals one small bite at a time.

"Slaves" to our past

2010-11-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

You do not have to think the way you have always thought, you do not have to act the way you have always acted, and you don't have to live the life you have always lived.

Do you believe this statement?

I am amazed at the number of people who have become "slaves" to things that have happened to them in their past. They use some event or events to justify their poor behaviors. When these people are taken to task for their bad behavior they usually reply, "I can't because...." or "I would like to change, but....". "My marriage is failing because my parents never taught me how to love" or "My parents verbally abused me as a child" or "How can I forgive this person after what they did to me". I think back to the expression I heard somewhere, "People believe what truth they have to believe to go on being the way they are" and "Your past doesn't control your present any more than a mirror controls what you look like".

Many of us have bought into the lie that somehow we were a "victim". "The devil made me do it". We destroy every relationship we have and somehow think it not our fault. We always think the fault belongs to someone else, we are simply "victims". It is not our fault! People who buy into this lie allow their past events to enslave them and rob them of joy, peace, hope, and love.

I am not trying to trivialize things you have experienced in your past. Many people have suffered greatly at the hands of others. Many times those closest to us hurt us the most. But we don't have to become "slaves" to or victims of our past. We don't have to hurt others, the way we were hurt. We do not have to treat others the way we were treated. We can forgive another even it they do not deserve to be forgiven. Forgiving those who have mistreated us sets us free.

You do not have to think the way you have always thought, you do not have to act the way you have always acted, and you don't have to live the life you have always lived.

Change can be very hard, but everyone can change. The first step to making change is to acknowledging we need to change. The second step is finding the people who can help guide us through the change. Someone who will hold us accountable to make the changes we need to make.

Life Coaching is all about helping others break the "slavery" of our past. Can we help you change? Contact us today.

The Human Mind

2010-11-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

Read the next paragraph. If you try to read it slow, you will have trouble. Just read it out loud.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltter be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Were you surprised that you could read it? I know I was the first time! Our mind is truly amazing.

Life coaching helps you unlock your potential.

The "Happiness Factor"

2010-11-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

Our economy seems to be driven by dissatisfaction and unhappiness. If an advertiser can make you unhappy or dissatisfied with something about yourself they get you to by their product. Advertisers will try to convince you that your teeth are not white enough and that their tooth whitening product will make your teeth bright as the new fallen snow. But what they are really getting you to buy into is the "lie". The "lie" is that by buying a product, any product, will somehow make you feel better and happier. They tell you,"Want happiness? Use or buy our product". We just can't be happy without their product.

People spend far too much of their income buying things they don't need to try to impress people who don't care. As we buy more and more into the lie, we become more and more disillusioned to discover that instead of feeling better we actually feel worse. We use the "magic" product and it does not work. We are no happier. We start thinking there must be something else wrong with us, so we look for some other "magic" product that will make us happy. The cycle goes on, never ending because happiness does not come from anything we can buy.

Happiness, true happiness, comes from within. It is not dependent on the what you wear or the type of car you drive or even how much money you make. If most people were really honest they would admit that the reason they drive a particular car or wear a brand of clothing has everything to do with trying to impress others.

True happiness is learning to be content with what you have and how you look. I am not saying that we should not try to look our best or, in my case I could loose a few pounds, but to find true happiness we need to focus on seeing and rejoicing in the blessings we have. We have a roof over our head, we have a car to drive (even if it is old and out of style), we have a job, and have family & friends.

Do you realize if you make $20,000 per year your are richer than 88.84% of everyone living on the planet? If you make $30,000 you are wealthier than 92.84% of the planet. (This is according to the website www.globalrichlist.com).

So count your blessings and start to "see"and appreciate all the great things you have! You might not drive a new BMW, but you are living in a country where everyone is truly blessed. Do you know that 1.3 billion people on this planet live on less than $2 per day?

Our personal happiness depends on us getting our priorities in order and to stop buying into the "lie".

Woulda Shoulda Coulda

2010-10-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

Many people "beat themselves up" for all the things that they wish they would have done differently. We need to accept the things that we have done, right or wrong, and move on. Moving on may require a change in our thinking. Many people get caught up in unhealthy "self-talk". You know the drill - "I always get it wrong", "I am such a looser", "Things will never get better" and so on. We get caught up in what we like to call "Stinkin Thinkin". It is very unhealthy "self-talk". The Bible tells us that, "For as he thinks in his heart, so he is" (Prov 23:7 KJV). Our thought life can be a self fulfilling prophesy. We can easily get caught up in believing the worst about ourselves and others.

So how healthy is your "self-talk"? Are you using positive "self-talk" saying things to yourself like - "I have a great self worth", "I do a good job", "I am loved by my family", "I care about others and others care about me", "I can succeed", and so on.

We can't change our past but we can set a now course of positive right thinking to help guide us to a better future. The past has already happened and can not be changed. Our future is a blank slate not yet written. You are control. Be all you can be!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace --Reinhold Niebuhr

6 dregees of seperation

2010-10-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

Coaching is about helping people achieve their goals and reach their potential. As I work with clients or teach classes (I am currently teaching a small business class through community education) I am often faced with people failing to see how many resources they have access to. They know that the answers lie somewhere out there, but they do not know where or how to find them.

Most people have heard the term "paradigm", but many people do not understand the concept nor how it affects them. The easiest way to understand this concept is to think of your life and your entire wealth of knowledge a "box". We all live in a box and that box contains the total sum of the knowledge we have accumulated. No person can know everything about everything. To solve problems or answer questions that are outside of the scope knowledge requires us find other ways to find the answers.

Learning to live outside of our own paradigm or "box". Will make us more effective and successful. To do this we must engage out network of friends and contacts. They will help us find the resources we need to solve the problems or provide the knowledge we need.

Each of us have access to a vast network of people who can help us solve and answer question but the problem is most of us do not see how vast that network really is.

A research scientist came up with the term "6 degrees of separation". What he proved was that no mater who you are or where you live you can get, hand delivered, a letter to a total stranger living anywhere in the world. This could be accomplish needing only to have the level travel though six levels of people. Does this concept sound crazy or impossible to you?

The process goes like this, most people know or are associated with hundreds of people. If you know 300 people and we assume they know three hundred people you have access to 90,000 people. If we take this to the assumption to the next level, level 3, we can see that we have indirect access to 27 million people! (300X300X300) Did you ever dream that you had access to so many people?

We all have a vast network of people. We need to unlock this resource by talking to those people and to start asking them for their help or advice. If they don't have the answer, we need to ask them if they know someone else who might be able to help. The real power does not come from what we know but the cumulative knowledge of others.

As you look to solve problems you have with relationships, you business, you health or any other items you might face, you need to start using the resources you have.

Life coaching helps people open minds to the possibilities and resources that exist all around us.

If you fail to plan - you plan to fail

2010-10-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

Planning and setting goals, both short term and long term are important. If your life doesn't seem to be going in the right direction, ask yourself ,"do I have a plan for my life?" If you don't have any plans it will be very hard for you to get anywhere but where you currently are.

I was working with a client and the topic of "what would your dream job be" came up. The client said their dream job would be to be a veterinarian. I asked them what they were doing to work toward that dream. They told me they looked into being a vet, but that it would take 10 years to get the schooling and certification they needed. I asked them if they planned on being alive for more than 10 years. Surprise they said, "of course!" To this I said, "you have a choice. 10 years from now you can either look back on your life and say, "I wish I has pursued my dream" or you can say "I achieved my dream and I am working in a job I love".

Life coaching is all about helping you with set plans and goals to achieve your dreams.

Are you ready to try life coaching?

More About life coaching

2010-10-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

Life coaching draws inspiration from many disciplines including psychology, mentoring, and positive adult development. Life coaching will help you discover what is really important to you, help you identify dreams and aspirations, help set realistic goals to move toward your dreams, and help you identify and remove any obstacles in the path of reaching your dreams.

You can reach for and achieve your dreams.

Feeling "STUCK" in a "RUT"?

2010-10-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

It can tough to wake and feel "stuck". You feel like your in a rut. You live your life but your life, job, marriage and relationships lacks passion and fulfilled. You get up everyday and feel like your are just going through the motions. You look back and wonder, "how did I get to this point and where is my life going?" Maybe you feel lost or trapped.

Life coaching can help you get out of the the rut and move you toward a more fulfilling and rewarding life. Each of us only get one shot at life. Maybe you should explore what we can do to help you.

What Is Life Coaching

2010-10-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Coaching is all about YOU, your strengths, your values, your goals, and life purpose; moving you from where you are to where you truly want to be in life.
A coach is trained to work closely with you to design realistic and achievable goals then helping you move toward the transformation you desire for your life.
This process is about having the courage to take that first step toward reaching your dreams, finding balance, and making your life purpose a reality.