Unlike many people, I read. Usually, I do not read books for enjoyment but I read to learn so I usually read non-fiction. There are literally millions of good books, but because I am a slow reader, I devote my time to reading books on topics that interest me and that will increase my knowledge. I have read many of the "classics" and enjoyed reading CS Lewis' - Chronicles of Narnia, Tolkien - Lord of the Ring, and several of Michener's books including Hawaii and the Source.
In 1972, while attending college I took a class on short stories. I did not take this class because I liked short stories, but because I had to get an English credit. The write up for the class seemed easier than other options so I took the class. During the class we discussed a short story titled, "Circus in the Attic". The main character of the story seemed to hold many beliefs which most of us could see were based on fact or truth. The Professor said something about this person that I have remembered and used many times since.
"People believe truth they have to believe to go on being the way they are."
What he meant by this statement was that people will pick and choose small bits and pieces of things to try to justify the way they live. Put another way, my wife Ruth says, "The head can justify anything the heart desires" or as the Bible says, As a man believes in his heart, so he is (Proverbs 23:7 KJV). Most of us have no trouble finding ways to justify our behavior. Many of us are comfortable justifying our behavior than changing it.
People get so caught up in this type of thinking that when they are challenged to change they say, "I can't change". Change involves making a decision to take a different road or course of action. Since all of us can are forced to make millions of decisions each day (what to eat, where to go, etc.), when someone says I can't change what they are really saying is I won't change. It is really a choice. They can choose to change or choose to not change. But either way they are making a choice.
Coaching helps people identify what factors they perceive are keeping them from changing. Helping people realize they can change is the first step in the process of making change. Change can be hard. But everyone can change, if they choose to.
Have you arrived at a place that you need to make a change?
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Making People Change
I have been asked, "As a coach, how can you make people change?"
As I said in my last article people resist change. Most may not admit it, but they truly fear change. People may not like what is happening in their life now, but at least they know what to expect. They fear that if they change, they can not be certain what will happen. There is a fear of the unknown. If they change, things might get better, but maybe they will get worse.
A good example of this is someone who has an addiction. Let's look at someone with a gambling addiction. Most of these people try to lead normal lives but the thrill they get gambling can consumes every aspect their lives. The addict believe that the next bet will be the one that is the big winner. They convince themselves that once they hit it big, they can take their winnings and quit. But no mater how much they win, they can't quit because it is not about the money it is about the thrill of placing the bet. I had a relative share this story. They told me that a person they know won $500,000 at a local casino and that it ruined their life. When they won the money they convinced themselves that it they invested so of their winning, they could win even more. What happened? Not only did this person loos the entire $500,000 but they also go so addicted they lost their house and all their savings. They are worse off now than before they won.
So how do make someone change? The fact is there is nothing anyone can do to MAKE someone else change. Nothing. The only person you can change is yourself. Unless a person has arrived at a place that they are willing to change, they won't. Even when people reach a point of knowing and accepting that they must change, that change will be very hard. The thrill of gambling is always in the mind of the addict, it never leaves.
My role as a coach is to help individuals get to the point that they can see and accept they need to change. I help them put together a road map of measurable goals and steps to help them make the change they have identified. It is the responsibility of the person I am coaching to follow their road map. I can only be there to help praise and hold them accountable to follow their plans.
Everyone of of us is imperfect and we all have areas in our lives that need change. Maybe we need to make changes to improve our relationships, career, or in some other area of our life, but all of us need to change. You may have reached the point that you know change is needed, but are uncertain how to proceed. As a coach, I can help you. Know that there is no "one size fits all". Each persons road map is different and customized.
You must not fear change, but rather embrace it. In life, we are either moving forward or backward, we do not stay stationary. Change will happen, there is no stopping it.
If you are at a point that you have identified that you are in a place they need to make change and are willing to work on changing, you are ready to start working with a coach. Are you ready for change?
As I said in my last article people resist change. Most may not admit it, but they truly fear change. People may not like what is happening in their life now, but at least they know what to expect. They fear that if they change, they can not be certain what will happen. There is a fear of the unknown. If they change, things might get better, but maybe they will get worse.
A good example of this is someone who has an addiction. Let's look at someone with a gambling addiction. Most of these people try to lead normal lives but the thrill they get gambling can consumes every aspect their lives. The addict believe that the next bet will be the one that is the big winner. They convince themselves that once they hit it big, they can take their winnings and quit. But no mater how much they win, they can't quit because it is not about the money it is about the thrill of placing the bet. I had a relative share this story. They told me that a person they know won $500,000 at a local casino and that it ruined their life. When they won the money they convinced themselves that it they invested so of their winning, they could win even more. What happened? Not only did this person loos the entire $500,000 but they also go so addicted they lost their house and all their savings. They are worse off now than before they won.
So how do make someone change? The fact is there is nothing anyone can do to MAKE someone else change. Nothing. The only person you can change is yourself. Unless a person has arrived at a place that they are willing to change, they won't. Even when people reach a point of knowing and accepting that they must change, that change will be very hard. The thrill of gambling is always in the mind of the addict, it never leaves.
My role as a coach is to help individuals get to the point that they can see and accept they need to change. I help them put together a road map of measurable goals and steps to help them make the change they have identified. It is the responsibility of the person I am coaching to follow their road map. I can only be there to help praise and hold them accountable to follow their plans.
Everyone of of us is imperfect and we all have areas in our lives that need change. Maybe we need to make changes to improve our relationships, career, or in some other area of our life, but all of us need to change. You may have reached the point that you know change is needed, but are uncertain how to proceed. As a coach, I can help you. Know that there is no "one size fits all". Each persons road map is different and customized.
You must not fear change, but rather embrace it. In life, we are either moving forward or backward, we do not stay stationary. Change will happen, there is no stopping it.
If you are at a point that you have identified that you are in a place they need to make change and are willing to work on changing, you are ready to start working with a coach. Are you ready for change?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Change Happens - Faster and Faster Each Day!
Coaching is about helping people and organizations manage change. Even the most successful person or organization cannot rest on their laurels. They must continue to remake themselves or risk falling behind.
Most organization and people resist change. People take the position, "Why change, when things are going well now?" The answer is very simple, if you do not change and keep reinventing your self you will be overtaken and fall behind. You and your skills make be deemed old and not reliant to the needs of our ever changing environment. For years, blacksmiths were one of the best and most profitable occupations, but when the automobile came on the scene. The car quickly replaced the horse as the chief mode of transportation. Blacksmiths either changed and learned a new skill or they became unemployed.
In his book, "In Search of Excellence" Tom Peters identified companies that were moving forward. Embarrassing change, using cutting edge technologies and new processes. He found 8 basic principles that made companies thrive and succeed. He singled out GE as one of those successful companies. Interestingly, several years later Peters used GE again , but not as an example of a successful company, rather as an example of a poorly run company. For years GE did many things right, when Peters wrote "In Search of Excellence", but leadership began resting on it's past successes and was overtaken by it's competitors.
If a company or individual is to survive in today's world, they must keep advancing, looking at trends, new technology, and new ideas. Compare both Sears and Wards, once the largest retailers in the world. Compare them to Target and Walmart. Wards and Sears failed to use their enormous advantage to stay on top, failing to identify changing shopping trends. Both Target and Walmart saw the new trends and grew because they were willing to try something new. If nothing else, Target and Walmart prove that the "little upstart" can take on and overcome any complacent giant.
The same is true for everyone in the workplace. I emphasize that people's careers are either moving forward or falling backward. There is no standing still. Every employee, no mater what level of employment, needs to embrace and purse new technologies and new trend. Not staying current or keeping up new trends, technology or ideas will soon put you at a huge disadvantage. Companies have short memories and usually are more concerned about what you are doing today and can do for me tomorrow than what you have done for me in the past. With corporate downsizing and pressure to improve performance and productivity a failure to embrace change, where ever it comes from can be a mistake that may cost you your job.
As a coach I work with clients and companies to examine all their options and challenge them to embrace change and technology. What areas should you be learning? Six-sigma, new phone and communication technologies (virtual meetings). Staying educated and knowing how to use new skills will make you valuable in whatever role you fill.
Most organization and people resist change. People take the position, "Why change, when things are going well now?" The answer is very simple, if you do not change and keep reinventing your self you will be overtaken and fall behind. You and your skills make be deemed old and not reliant to the needs of our ever changing environment. For years, blacksmiths were one of the best and most profitable occupations, but when the automobile came on the scene. The car quickly replaced the horse as the chief mode of transportation. Blacksmiths either changed and learned a new skill or they became unemployed.
In his book, "In Search of Excellence" Tom Peters identified companies that were moving forward. Embarrassing change, using cutting edge technologies and new processes. He found 8 basic principles that made companies thrive and succeed. He singled out GE as one of those successful companies. Interestingly, several years later Peters used GE again , but not as an example of a successful company, rather as an example of a poorly run company. For years GE did many things right, when Peters wrote "In Search of Excellence", but leadership began resting on it's past successes and was overtaken by it's competitors.
If a company or individual is to survive in today's world, they must keep advancing, looking at trends, new technology, and new ideas. Compare both Sears and Wards, once the largest retailers in the world. Compare them to Target and Walmart. Wards and Sears failed to use their enormous advantage to stay on top, failing to identify changing shopping trends. Both Target and Walmart saw the new trends and grew because they were willing to try something new. If nothing else, Target and Walmart prove that the "little upstart" can take on and overcome any complacent giant.
The same is true for everyone in the workplace. I emphasize that people's careers are either moving forward or falling backward. There is no standing still. Every employee, no mater what level of employment, needs to embrace and purse new technologies and new trend. Not staying current or keeping up new trends, technology or ideas will soon put you at a huge disadvantage. Companies have short memories and usually are more concerned about what you are doing today and can do for me tomorrow than what you have done for me in the past. With corporate downsizing and pressure to improve performance and productivity a failure to embrace change, where ever it comes from can be a mistake that may cost you your job.
As a coach I work with clients and companies to examine all their options and challenge them to embrace change and technology. What areas should you be learning? Six-sigma, new phone and communication technologies (virtual meetings). Staying educated and knowing how to use new skills will make you valuable in whatever role you fill.
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