Who are you hanging out with?

I know some people might disagree with me, but who you hang out with has a great deal to do with who you are.  Are you hanging out with positive uplifting people with a passion for life or are you hanging out with people who are negative and quick to blame others for their situation? Negative people view life through critical glasses and they will bring down everyone they associate with.

A very wise book states that "bad company corrupts good character".

If your situation is not improving, take a good hard look at who you are hanging around.  Maybe it is time to look for other friends.  People who have a positive attitude and look for the good in situations and others.  People who value what others think about them.  People of high character.

Hanging out with the right people will improve your look on life, your job, and relationships.  They usually are the type of people who enjoy helping others.  If you are willing to do a little soul searching, ask them for their honest opinion of what you need to change to improve.  If they are honest with you, you might not like what they tell you.  But it might just be what you need to hear to turn your life around.

You need to have people around you that will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.    

Iron Sharpens Iron - Who are you coaching?

For us to stay sharp we need to sharpen our own skills. It has been my experience that when I am coaching to teaching others, I am challenged to follow my own advise.

My clients often ask me challenging questions. These often force me to search deep for answers. This process forces me to look for potential options my client will find useful. As I explore options I often remind myself of  things I need to do in my own life.  This process not only aids my client but enables me to improve myself.

If you want to sharpen your skills do it by working to help others. You can do this by mentoring or coaching someone.  Maybe a neighbor or someone at work could be helped. Are you willing to help someone else? It doesn't require a lot of your time, maybe a 15-30 minute phone call once a week. When you meet you don't need to have all the answers, allow the person you are working with to explore their options by asking them open ended question. As you help them, you will be amazed how much you help yourself.  It will make you not only  better employee, but a better person at work. Make sure to emphasize the positive. People need encouragement, not criticism.

With our current economy, one does not have to look far to find an opportunity to teach people who can benefit from our knowledge and experience. Help someone else and I guarantee you will help yourself and feel great doing it.

Where will you be in 10 years?

Planning and goal setting, both short term and long term are important.  If your life doesn't seem to be going in the right direction, ask yourself ,"do I have a plan for my life?"  Most people have no goals or plans; they just hope that they will be successful.  To be successful in your life, career and marriage you need to know where you have been, where you are, and where you want to go.  If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

 

I was working with a client and the topic of "what would your dream job be" came up.  The client said their dream job was to become a veterinarian.  I asked them what they were doing to work toward their dream.  They told me they looked into what it would take to be a vet and they discovered it would take them 10 years to get the schooling and certification they needed.  I asked them if they planned on being alive for more than 10 years.  They were surprise by my comment but answered, "of course!"  I told them that they had to make a choice.  10 years from they would either look back on their life and say, "I wish I has pursued my dream" or they can say, "I achieved my dream and I am working in a job I love".

 

Life coaching is all about helping people set plans and goals they need to achieve help them achieve their goals and dreams.

 

Are you ready to try life coaching?  If you want to explore life coaching, contact us!

I always wanted to...(fill in the blank).

I was working with someone who told me that their dream job was being a veterinarian.  I asked them why they were not pursuing their dream job.  They told me that they had many things going on in their life and that they could only take one class a semester. At that rate, it would take them up to ten years to get through the schooling. 

This is not the only person I have worked with who was not pursuing their dream because working to accomplish it would take a long time. 

Are you holding yourself back because your dream would take a long to accomplish?

Often accomplishing a dream will take a long time. Working for a dream is worth the wait, no matter how long it might take. 

Look at the story of Jacob.  Jacob’s uncle had two daughters, Leah and Rachel. Jacob fell in love with Rachel and wanted to marry her.  In those days, Jacob was expected to present his father-in-law with a dowry to compensate his father-in-laws family for the loss of the girl.  Jacob was poor and had no money to offer. Jacob worked out an agreement. He agreed to work for his father-in-law 7 years, after which he would marry Rachel.  7 years passed and the day came that Jacob would be married.  He thought he was marrying Rachel, but his father-in-law tricked him into marrying Leah. Imagine his shock and disappointment.   His father-in-law told Jacob he could marry Rachel but not without working for him for another 7 years.  SO in all, Jacob had to work for 14 years to marry the girl of his dreams. 

People often wonder if working a long time for something they desire is worth it. The most important goals and desires are worth working for.

How did I respond to the client who told me about their dream to be a veterinarian? I first asked them if they planned to be alive for another 10 years.  They said they thought my question was a bit odd, but they answered “Yes”.  I told them in ten years they would look back on their life and either be sad for the dream they did not purse or happy because they would have realized their dream job.  Which memory did they want?

That same question applies to you.  Even though it may take many years, you can still reach for and accomplish your dreams.

Reviewing Your Career Progress

For many working people, this is the time of year they get their annual review. If you receive an annual review, it is a great time to look at your career development.  If your company provides input into your developmental needs start with them.  Ask your supervisor to provide you a list of areas they want you to improve in. When your supervisor starts covering these areas, ask him/her to provide you with as much input as they can.  Tell them you have a strong desire to improve and move up in your career.  Ask them if they can recommend someone who could act as a mentor for you.  Mentors should be someone who can help hold you accountable to make the improvements you need to make.

Change takes time and effort!  Put together an action plan and review it with  your supervisor.  This will help show the supervisor that you are serious about taking the actions needed to improve yourself.  These actions should be done, regardless of whether you will receive a promotion or not.  In today's world, just keeping your job could depend on your willingness to improve and add value to your organization and company.

Your next step should include a trip to the book store or library. Review books that cover the areas you need to develop.  Read books and take action steps to implement the suggested changes. Google search the topics you need to develop and look for on-line training and suggestions.  Find a career coach who can also help you in these areas.

If you are fortunate enough to secure a mentor or a career coach, meet with them monthly. Discuss your developmental needs and how they would suggest you address them.  If you do not have a mentor or career coach, put a 2 hour meeting on your calendar each month.  During that time, pull out your review and any recommendations your supervisor made and evaluate your own progress. Set up quarterly meetings with your supervisor to review your progress and to get additional recommendations.  Taking your supervisor on as a "informal mentor" will help them to see that your efforts to improve are serious.   Most people like to help others and their efforts should not only be followed but you should thank them for them.

Too many people I have worked with never look at their review and recommendations until a few weeks before their next review.  They spend most of the time prior to their next review "kicking themselves" for not working on the items their supervisor identified.  They even express shock when you discover that their supervisor gives them a poor review.  Not working to improve may result your losing your job.

Take responsibility for your development, whether it is at work or your personal life.  Change will not "magically" happen.  It requires hard work and someone to hold us accountable for making the change.

Everyday Life is About Choices

One of my recent postings talked about how our thoughts impact our lives.  Another things that has a big impact on who we are and how we react to things is our attitude.  Some people claim that what happens to them impacts how they respond to things. I hear, "They made me angry" or "It wasn't my fault. They made me do it".  I agree that events can influence our reactions, but they do not control our responses.  Someone once said that events no more control our actions any more than a mirror controls our appearance.

Consider this - "Attitude is everything with aging...A study of nearly one thousand older adults followed for nine years concluded that people with high levels of optimism has a 23% lower risk of death from cardiovascular disease and a 55% lower risk of death from all causes compared to their pessimistic peers" - Dr. Andrew Weils.   I have heard of many studies that show that optimistic people at all ages have less medical problems.  Having a positive attitude is good for your health.  Put another way, a bad attitude can kill you.

It is important that people understand just how beneficial a good positive attitude is.  Not only will it help your health improve it is critically important in relationships and at work.  Who would you like to be married to or work with?   Someone who has a bad attitude all the time or someone who has a good attitude?

The great thing about our attitude is that we have a choice. Consider these words by Charles Swindoll -

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes." 

So how will you choose to live?

"Do, or do not. There is no try", Joda

I am amazed at how many people seem to have just given up.  Our entire country has seemed to have lost the will to persevere and accomplish great things.  People no longer seem to believe that great things are possible. People are living life as a spectator sport.  They simply put in their time, counting their days. People have taken on the attitude that when the going gets tough, quit. Are you one of those people?

John F. Kennedy once quoted George Bernard Shaw saying, "Some men see things as they are and say why - I dream things that never were and say why not."

As a coach I encourage people to pursue their dreams and reach their goals.  I try to encourage people to be all that they can be. I help people develop a confidence "Can Do" attitude allowing them to achieve much more than they ever thought possible.  Pursuing our goals is not easy and will require perseverance and very hard work.  Reaching our goals is a journey that will take time. We will have set backs, but we can reach those things others only dream about.  "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -- Confucius 

One of my favorite quotes is from Theodor Roosevelt in his 1910, "Man in the arena speech".  In it he said:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. 

Become one of those few and special people willing to reach for their "impossible dream".  Take that first step. Stop living your life from the sidelines and get into the arena.  Find and pursue your passion.  Be one of those people who, when they look back on their lives can say they lived life to it's fullest.  Someone who didn't give up who strives again and again.  Your life, your family, your employer, and your world  will be better for it..